About Me. There has never been a time that I can recall not being hungry or food not somehow being in my thoughts. I remember always looking forward to eating. Sneaking in the kitchen to try and get snacks. I consider myself lucky that growing up, I was never more than 5- 1. But that is to my mother’s credit. As an adult, she told me that she had me on “diets” as a child even though I was unaware of it. I just ate what she cooked! When she noticed that I was gaining weight she would modify what she gave me without me being aware of it. In high school I was always about 1. I wanted to be. Again I consider myself lucky that I was not significantly overweight during these teenage years because I realize many who are face a lot of criticism and difficulty. This was, however, the beginning of diet pills and the long list of diet failures. I was always aware that I was overweight and it bothered me. Yet, food was my friend. It was always there for me when I needed it. And my love affair with food had been growing stronger with each year that went by. In college, I quickly put on 5. I began using food in a much more significant way for every stress in my life. Prevention articles on weight loss, weight loss success stories, weight loss programs, smart nutrition tips, and need-to-know information on weight loss surgery. The trouble is I don’t really know my starting weight. When you cross over from merely obese to morbidly obese, it’s hard to find a scale in. Eat more, weigh less Follow this 1,400-calorie-a-day plan for seven days (include moderate exercise) to drop up to 5 pounds. Breakfast (400 calories; choose 1 daily). So, you’ve finally decided it’s time to make a change and start down the path of weight loss. You go online, Google “weight loss,” and are bombarded with more. She has a degree in Communication Arts, specializing in writing and journalism, and is a nutritionist with seven. I even began to look for times when I could be alone. Just me and the food. Often I would pass on going out with friends if it meant a good 3 or 4 hours alone in my room with the freedom to binge. Binge eating became a favorite past time. I would go to the grocery store and load my cart with every possible food that I could ever want. The things that made me the happiest. Then I would go through the drive thru of my favorite restaurants for more. With more than 20 years of experience in the fitness industry, she. Success weight loss stories: From a man who lost almost 1000 pounds to another who started a cross country walk to lose weight. News, videos and photos about My Weight Loss Journey on TODAY.com. At home, I would lay it all out around me and admire the treasure. This was pure bliss. All my best friends. All through college, I toyed around with bulimia. I say “toyed around” because I was never very good at it. As if that’s something you want to be good at! I would never have considered myself a true bulimic even though sadly I tried to be. I have been good friends with anorexics and bulimics over the years. I think people with eating disorders just find each other. And strange as it sounds, I envied them. But I loved the way I felt when I was stuffed with food. It was one of the only times I ever felt truly satisfied. One of the few times I didn’t feel hungry. In some ways, it was like a drug. THE GABRIEL METHOD. The Gabriel Method is an international best seller that’s been translated in over 14 languages and is available in 60 countries. How Many Calories Daily at 200 Pounds to Lose Weight? I’d lay back feeling sleepy and completely at peace. Not a care in the world. And that is why I didn’t like throwing up my food. It only left an empty feeling all over again. Which led to just another binge. So instead I relied on those moments of peace that the food gave me until the next day when I woke up to empty doughnut boxes and fast food bags. Like an alcoholic trying to hide his liquor bottles, I would furiously try to hide my food wrappers hoping no one would see how much I truly consumed. When I got married, there were sets of new stresses. Being an army wife and having 4 children. Homeschooling. Graduate school. And there was food. My friend through it all. I swore I’d never see that number. Wow, you came quicker than expected. But there it was and there I stayed. I spent years on diets. I tried it all but nothing worked because every single diet ended in a panic attack. Anxiety at not being able to have the food that gave me peace and happiness. The anxiety would overtake me and finally I’d fall back into the food all over again to escape the panic. In 2. 00. 3, I went on a low carb diet and for the first time truly experienced a relief from cravings. I learned that cutting out sugar and carefully monitoring other food sources that gave me trouble was a key to keeping myself from feeling constantly hungry. This was a lightbulb moment for me and I lost 1. Then I gained it all back plus more. The food still had a grip on my heart. There were other issues to deal with because this was more than just a biological problem of sugar cravings. My heart literally loved the food. Like some dysfunctional, abusive relationship where you know you need to get out. Pack a suitcase and flee in the night from this destructive and violent relationship that is killing you. But instead you stay. And people think “Why?” because they can see the effects of it. Maybe not the bruises that you would see from an abusive lover but the pounds that are piling on. It’s obvious to everyone . This isn’t an addiction you can hide the way you might be able to hide your liquor bottles and appear functional to the world. This is an addiction that you wear like a sign around your neck. It is very public. When my husband left me in 2. I felt like a complete failure. Everything I had ever wanted to be was wrapped up in the title of wife and mother. And I had failed. I was over 3. 00 pounds. I had 4 children with two still in diapers. We had just bought our house and moved to a new city. I knew no one. My closest family was 1. I had no job because my job was being a wife and a mom. No friends. No hope. I wanted to die. I thought about it. Considered it. But I didn’t want the kids to think I wanted to leave them voluntarily. So I decided to survive. And I did that by turning to the same abusive lover that always seemed to charm me back into its arms. Food. And with each passing year, I gained more weight. Until I was over 4. And now the pain. The excruciating, back breaking pain. Swollen feet. Almost unable to walk. Unable to fit in most any chair. Almost unable to even fit behind the steering wheel of the car. My life was about pain. Pain of being a single mother. Pain at not being the mother I knew I could have been had I not had such a destructive relationship with food. But through it all, my Mom was there. She was the one that never gave up on me. She always believed that I could overcome this and she told me that as long as she was alive, I would never be alone. And then she died. And I knew I wasn’t far behind. But I did not have it in me to keep trying. Then my brother did something amazing. Change his mindset. He’s lost 2. 75 pounds. And now he’s a personal trainer. So he got on a plane and he came out to see me to give me hope. Very soon after that, I had weight loss surgery too. A vertical sleeve gastrectomy. I willingly had 8. For it had controlled me all of my life. I thought it was love but it wasn’t. Because love doesn’t hurt you like that. I finally got up the courage to pack my suitcase and flee in the night. To buy the lies. Knowing that this lover had always had my death on its agenda. Its goal was to kill me—slowly.
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June 2017
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